Saturday, October 17, 2009

mission 1

i've recently received a string of emails from virgins asking me how to lose their virginity. while the previous posting was a reply to a specific individual, this will be tailored to a general virginal audience.

first things first - your age, race, religion, income, living situation, height, weight, and clothing do not matter. i do not want to hear any excuses involving any of the above criteria. nor do i want to hear any excuses involving any other circumstances.

second of all, the only thing stopping you from being a virgin is yourself. the only reasons you are still a virgin is because you are waiting till marriage, a girlfriend, or you are simply a coward.

and in the cases where you are still waiting for marriage or a girlfriend, you are a virgin not because of lack of opportunity. you've simply turned down girls in order to stay true to your moral code. that means you will most likely have had oral sex and other forms of foreplay, stopping at intercourse and severly disappointing your girl(s). if this is you, you are not wondering how to get laid.

therefore, if you are reading this and wondering how to get laid, you are a coward or simply incredibly young.

now that that is out of the way, here is how to get laid - stop worrying about it. enjoy the pursuit of sex and let go of the disappointment associated with failure. the way you do this is by understanding that you can still masturbate and get off. it's that simple. if she doesn't get you off, you still have other options. such as masturbation. this does not mean you eliminate the disappointment associated with failure, it just means you have ways of dealing with it and understand life goes on and that there will be other opportunities to get laid.

next, live your life. there is more to life than sex. you have friends, family, work, school, ambitions, and other desires that need tending to. tend to them.

then, talk to the girls you find attractive. this does not mean avoid the girls you find unattractive. that is your decision. but you cannot have sex with anyone you refuse to interact with. the conversation need not be special. it can be boring. it can be entertaining. it can be just a few words. it can stretch out for months. it is what it is.

lastly, make a move*. you have to express your interest in her sexually both verbally and nonverbally. sometimes at the same time, sometimes separately. but you have to express that interest in her for her to understand your desires. if she has similar desires for you, she will return the interest by not leaving. if she does not, she will leave. the point of making a move on her is to get her to express her interest. there is no winning her over. there is only freeing her to act on her desires, positive or negative. and that is the best you can do.

verbally speaking, making a move can constitute asking her out, telling her she's cute, to saying she's turning you on.

nonverbally, making a move can constitute looking at her while imagining kissing her naked belly, caressing the inside of her palm with your index finger, or going in for a kiss.

the above lists are not complete as you can add your own moves to the mix such as putting an arm around her waist or placing your hand on the inside of her thigh. it can also include insinuating sexual contact between the two of you or being direct about your interest such as asking her back to your place.

but short of making a move, you will not free her to express her desires. and unless you do so, you will stay a virgin. my advice is to sack up, grow a pair, and make a move. anything else is just an excuse.

with that understanding out of the way, here is your first mission:

1. in the next week, walk up to five girls you find attractive.
2. tell her you find her attractive and want to know her name.
3. conversate for a bit, just being yourself.
4. make the move that seems appropriate no matter how well or poorly the conversation seems to be going - either ask her out, touch her leg, or try to kiss her.
5. post your results for each girl in the comments section or email them to me.

failure to do this means it is your fault. success in seeing this through to the end regardless of how she reacts means it is her fault and that she has no place on your team. sex is a team sport and she has to be willing and able to play along - and to play well. once you get comfortable in the process, you will be able to distinguish just who you want to make a move on from the ones you don't want to make a move on.

if you get a date, i will post the second mission, detailing just what to do on the second date.

*note - expressing your interest and following through with physical actions does not mean sex will come immediately. sometimes it does. sometimes she will need time to think about your offer. sometimes a "no" just means "not yet." and sometimes, despite everything going great, it will never happen. that's life.


  1. Hey Dirk,

    I think my problem is that i'm a coward :-). Is it ok to do this mission just on one day, for example if i go out on friday evening to a club, and approach 5 girls there? I don't meet many new girls except at work (where i don't want to try this stuff out).
    Damn, and at the time i'm writing this i already know i'm just making excuses ->
    Ok, tomorrow evening i have music school, and there's at least 1 girl there i find super hot. And on Tuesday there's impro evening, so there's probably at least one hot girl there. In the restaurant where i eat in the evenings the waitress is a SUPER hot rabbit, so she should become number three. Friday i could go to a club then, to find girl four and five.
    Dirk dude, please send a package of "ballgrow-pills" to "Pieter, Belgium"... :)

  2. hey pieter,

    yes, you were making excuses. the reason i want it spread over a week is to avoid situations like you described above - approaching 4-5 girls in a night club.

    doing so ingrains in your mind that somehow it is only okay to approach women in night clubs.

    my point is that having the balls to be honest about who you are and what you want in word and action is all it takes to get the women you desire in any situation, day or night.

    you cannot learn that if you only approach women you desire in certain conditions like clubs or bars.

    your plan seems like a winner, stick to it and let me know how each approach goes.