Friday, January 14, 2011

RIP Dirk

On Wednesday, January 13th, Dirk was walking home from the bars after saying goodbye to friends. He was hit by a drunk driver at 1:53am. Dirk died instantly. He is survived by two loving parents and a devoted girlfriend. I don't feel right sharing this, but I know how much he loved sharing his insight and experience with guys struggling to get a grasp on this part of their life. We had a special relationship and you will be missed.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Hate mail

Well, more of a comment from GK's blog. One I didn't see till just now.

I've gotta say, I've not laughed so hard all day today. Thanks, Mark.

Wow – dirk is a huge dick and completely full of himself. He will attract low quality skanks and hos with these awesome moves. He sounds like an SNL skit. Wait, am I being punked! You got me!

Now to find my skanky ho and feed her my meat...

Work is the new Alcohol

A friend of mine recently got out of a relationship. He's hooked up with a few girls since then. But I've noticed something about him. He's become a workaholic. Not that focusing on work is a bad thing. But, he's become more withdrawn from us. He feels excluded from conversations because no one wants to hear him talk about work. As a result, he rarely hangs out with us because he feels like we've grown apart. So we don't get to spend much time together. And he has no interest in dating either, because he has nothing he wants to talk about with them. As he gets more self-sufficient, he has less to share with others.

It reminds me of the plot to the movie "Yes Man," or rather, the far better book it was based on.

And my advice for him is somewhat different. Because the work he does is important. When trying to achieve great things, there is a cost. If he was simply a paper pusher at an insurance company, I'd tell him to get out more, do some fun things on his own, just for himself. Have an adventure or two to remind him of who he is apart from everyone else.

His work requires him to work as hard as he does. Seventy hours a week is a short week. His social life won't be what it was. And his true friends will understand and be there for him when he's done. Of course, he should still come out when he can. And women love him, even when he has nothing much to say. For all those other times, he has a hand and the Internet.

But the point is that everyone has different priorities. And my #1 isn't the same as his or your #1. And that's okay.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

So You're The Quiet Type

In keeping with my shorter posts rule, here's another short one.

You're not much of a talker. What do you do to keep the conversation going?


That's it. Actually listen. Don't think of what to say. Don't think of how to relate or reward that. Just listen. It's also okay to let yourself show you are listening.

When you actually listen to someone, you keep eye contact and respond with things like "yeah," "cool," and "uh huh." It might raise other questions in your mind. You might think of a funny joke. By actually listening, you free yourself to reacting honestly, even if it's with a simple "schwing!"

On the other hand, if you pretend to listen or try to look like you're listening, you're gonna stare a hole into her head.

If she's at all interested, this works even when she's not saying anything. Just shut up and listen.