Monday, January 10, 2011

Work is the new Alcohol

A friend of mine recently got out of a relationship. He's hooked up with a few girls since then. But I've noticed something about him. He's become a workaholic. Not that focusing on work is a bad thing. But, he's become more withdrawn from us. He feels excluded from conversations because no one wants to hear him talk about work. As a result, he rarely hangs out with us because he feels like we've grown apart. So we don't get to spend much time together. And he has no interest in dating either, because he has nothing he wants to talk about with them. As he gets more self-sufficient, he has less to share with others.

It reminds me of the plot to the movie "Yes Man," or rather, the far better book it was based on.

And my advice for him is somewhat different. Because the work he does is important. When trying to achieve great things, there is a cost. If he was simply a paper pusher at an insurance company, I'd tell him to get out more, do some fun things on his own, just for himself. Have an adventure or two to remind him of who he is apart from everyone else.

His work requires him to work as hard as he does. Seventy hours a week is a short week. His social life won't be what it was. And his true friends will understand and be there for him when he's done. Of course, he should still come out when he can. And women love him, even when he has nothing much to say. For all those other times, he has a hand and the Internet.

But the point is that everyone has different priorities. And my #1 isn't the same as his or your #1. And that's okay.

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