Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What I Am

In my last post, I addressed what I am not advocating.

In this post, I'll address what I am - fun.

The way I see it, there are two ways of having fun:

1. with words
2. with actions


Imagine the following situation, you're walking on the beach and see an attractive woman staring at the sunset. She can see you. In fact, as you look at her, you get the sense she's checking you out while pretending not to. How do you approach?

You can walk up and say hi and talk about how beautiful the sunset is. And if you're smart and flirtatious, you will immediately say just after that, "not as beautiful as you." Then you'll both laugh and you'll admit "that was cheesy, but true." And if you're like me, you might try to explain some more "I'm just saying, I'd rather look at you naked than a sunset" while holding back your laughter but not a smile.

Or, you can do what I did and simply shout "I'm better looking than that sunset" - it was the first thing that came to my mind.


You're on a first date. You're having a polite get-to-know each other conversation about work or childhood, or something else you could have with your grandmother. She says something funny once in a while and you laugh. You say something funny when it comes naturally to you and she laughs and caresses your shoulder while pretending to slap it. Maybe a little too much because what you said isn't all that funny.

But that's natural too because your knees are touching one another and your hand is on the inside of her thigh. And when you talk, you're whispering in her ears. Perhaps your nose brushes her lobes once in a while.

Or maybe you're sitting across from her, unable to touch her. And while you get to know each other, you stare into her eyes. Your fingers run down your lips and neck, as they would on her if you were in bed naked with each other.


What you should take away from this post is not that when picking up girls you should have fun with words and when on a date have fun with actions.

What you should take away from this post is that you should have fun in a way that expresses your interest all the time.

Sometimes your interest is that of distinterest - you are not attracted. Do not stick around pretending to be. Sometimes using words comes more naturally than actions to express your desire for her. Sometimes actions are more natural.

Whatever the method, the end goal is the same - have fun. Go big or go home. Life is too short to be timid and boring. Be clear about what you want. And have fun doing it. Make it a game.

As I said to another reader, you have to test her to see if she's any fun. But the ONLY way to do that is by having fun yourself with and without her. Are you going to bore yourself to death just because she's not with you?

NO! Fuck that. Have fun without her. If she's any good for you, she'll enjoy what you do to have fun. If she's not, she'll get out of the way. But that requires you actually have fun regardless of what she's into.

It's your life. Step one of the big three is living your life. And do you want a boring life?

Think of it this way - you're part of a night cleaning crew at an office or whatever. Do you just do your job and leave, quickly, quietly? Or do you try to have fun within the limits you have?

I know if I was stuck doing the same mindless job every day, I'd find ways to have fun, ways to entertain myself, without breaking any of the rules. If the rules are too restrictive, I'd find another job. Life is about making myself happy, not being a slave to others.

If you think of girls as a numbers game, that means you have to approach and date a lot of women to find the one. You can make it boring. Or you can find ways to entertain yourself.

You're not going to scare of any chick you actually want by doing so.

Because the chicks you actually want will be into whatever you do to entertain yourself. And that's the point. You want to scare off anyone who is not into you. Whoever remains, well, she actually enjoys your company. But that requires you entertaining yourself, as opposed to doing something to "win her" or worse, "not scare her."

You don't want to break any rules, like raping her, assaulting her, stealing from her, or drugging her. And if you're sane and normal, those won't even be options for you. But that still leaves a lot of room to have fun with.

As a tip, I'll say the easiest way I know how to have fun is to be honest. Approaching brutally honest, but I don't like the word brutal. I don't think of the truth as brutal. But I can be blunt. And I often enjoy it. And being a genuinely nice guy, I find it hard to deliver the truth in a mean way.

If I'm sexually attracted to someone, I'm blunt about it - with words AND actions.


Are you going to approach 100 women and use the exact same boring line starting with "excuse me"?

Or are you going to approach 100 women and try to have fun each time?

1 comment:

  1. Hell yeah!

    Also, thanks for setting up the scenario for "I'm better looking than that sunset." After the email I thought "Dirk what's me to shout random shit at hotties?! Wtf?" lol