Friday, May 21, 2010

Direct or Indirect?

So a lot of people have said my "method" takes a lot of balls because I say be direct. I agree my method takes balls. It's the only way to really show you have balls without trying hard (does a bird have to prove it has wings?). But I'm not about being direct.

I don't advocate going up to a girl and saying "I think you're attractive, I want to sleep with you".

Now, I don't advocate not doing that either. I do not advocate direct or indirect. I advocate trusting your instincts and doing what comes naturally in that moment. If it's saying "I think you're attractive, I want to sleep with you," say it. If it's direct, do it. If it's indirect, do it.

How will you know which is which? Your head is clear and instead of thinking what to do or what not to do, the words come to you. And then a little voice will say "no, don't do that". That's when you tell it to shut up and say it anyway.

Of course, instead of words, your body could tell you what to do, not say. The same thing happens. A little voice will tell you not to. Do it anyway.

And if no words come to you, you either probably don't want her or you do want her but have told your mind "no" before it's even suggested anything. In that case, say exactly that: "I want you, but I don't know what to say".


  1. So you're saying you just say things to new women, with whatever you feel like saying, or whatever is amusing to you at that moment? You never think, "Hey. I'm going to say this, because it's a good technique/stategy, for this woman I'm going to approach now, in this particular venue."

    Granted you could be using technique, that you feel naturally inclined, or have the balls to do.

    I have a clear understanding and admiration for your philosophy on this, I'm just trying to shine a light into your thought processes out of personal interest.

    I think expressing ones self genuinely out of interest or amusement, is a good way to go.


  2. Ha. Dude, you've already answered the jist of my above question before in an email I found. I swear, that's the problem whith getting the jist of your advice. Questions pop up occasionally and I think "What would Dirk say about this?" and I usually already have a good idea of what you'd say or can now figure it out myself.


  3. If I'm at a funeral home, I'm going to be acting differently than in a club. What comes naturally to me in a funeral home is very different from what comes naturally to me in a club. There's no technique I need to learn, there's no need to train myself or practice how to act appropriately in either. We learned those lessons when we were eight. If someone doesn't know how to act properly in either venue, their problem isn't girls but maturity and common sense. As you've guessed by now, my advice and thought process is simply: man up.

    I'm glad you've got it figured out. Hope you're loving the girls you like.

  4. Dirk, lately I've been closing more but all the numbers I've gotten are flakes. I tell the girl I want to get to know her better, tell her I want to take her out, I get the number and then there is no response. Can you offer any help?

  5. Maybe she lost interest. I went through a period of my life where I got nothing but flakes just after a hot streak where I slept with nearly every woman I went for. Then after the flakey girls, I went through a period where most of my dates were horrible. Either they looked worse than when I asked them out, or the chemistry and conversation were gone, or she confessed to having a boyfriend and not being able to go through with it, or while everything seemed right on the surface, all my attempts at escalating were shut down for no apparent reason.

    The only plausible conclusion I've come to after talking to many naturals is that it's part of the game, it's part of life. It's not anything you're doing wrong. It's just a problem with the girl or girls. Like a bad hair day or bad session in the gym.

    It happens. You tried on your end. Detach yourself a bit, continue living your life. Maybe instead of going for a number you switch up your goal (not method, necessarily) and go for a one night stand or makeout instead of a date. Maybe change where you ask girls out or the type of girls you are asking out. Not permanently.

    When fishermen can't catch fish in their favorite spots, they try others while their old spot recovers or catch different fish.

    You've gotta approach it the same way, really.